Indigence, fire and death in the Castro

So I was walking home from the Mint last night, and part of castro street is closed. I assumed that it was part of the international film fest (I think Ed Harris was supposed to be there tonight). There is a huge light illuminating the street and police cars everywhere. It wasn’t anything glamorous though.

I was much later than the actual accident; indeed, I arrived several hours later. I’m normally averse to dwelling on accidents because they do happen all the time, but this one has affected me because 1. it’s so close to where I live 2. the role a homeless person played in the scenario.

After the initial impact, the two cars burst into flames. A homeless person rushed to pull a man out of a burning vehicle. Across the street, other business owners rushed out with fire extinguishers to try and mitigate the damages. Eventually, the fire department arrived. The man the homeless person helped pull out of the car has already at the time of this post been pronounced dead.

The major reason why this has upset me, however, has nothing to do with the resulting death, but it does change my perspective. Living in SF, there is so much homelessness. I always believe it is because of our comparatively friendlier policies and lack of extreme weather. However, after being asked for money 5-15 times a day, I have become inured to it, and don’t really even respond at all. In actuality, I think I might know who the homeless man that was mentioned in the story is (there tend to be certain people who stay in a certain area). The reason I’m upset is because I thought it was so amazing that it was a homeless person. This leads me to think that I didn’t think of them as equal to everyone else and was easily surprised by their humanity, and this saddens me. Furthermore, I am sad that I am posting about this, but I don’t feel I really have anything to say about the true specter of death in the Castro: HIV/AIDS. I’m going to think on this, and hopefully I can make some changes for the better.

Walking by the water…

It’s finally somewhat stopped raining out here in SF. The picture on the left is a snapshot of the last gay hiking group I went on here in town. I guess I just feel really lucky to live here. Granted, it wasn’t the most beautiful place, but how many cities have groups where gay guys go on easy hikes and drink wine during lunch. Sadly, I don’t think anyone has done anything kinky in the wilds. Not to say that I never have done things like that on hikes, but not with this group. I do have scruples…well, at least about being caught.

Is Everything Cute Overweight, and Does That Make Me Cute?

Okay, so maybe Hello Kitty isn’t obese, but the pussy looks like she’s packing a few pounds. How does she do that without a mouth? Personally, people have bought me Hello Kitty brand candy, and it’s nothing special. It kind of surprises me that Hello Kitty could be so indiscriminate in her branding.

However, there is a cute bunny who does deliver. For all you Mac & Cheese fans out there, I’m sure you know of whom I speak: the Annie’s pasta bunny. I was able to resist this siren of white cheddar until my local costco made her song too deliciously sweet. Now, I buy 15-pack boxes, and would I do so if it weren’t for that seductress, the ebullient bunny? Maybe, but I’m inclined to think not. The product is pretty good; however, I’m not a huge Mac & Cheese fan.

Returning to the topic of this post, the Mac & Cheese consumption is merely a single example of my growing apathy towards body image and its importance. True, as a bear/cub, I like guys to have something on them. There is something so endearing and welcoming about a guy with some belly under a t-shirt and an even bigger smile on his face. I am dismayed by the increasing assimilation of bear culture into gay circuit culture. As a brief example, my partner and I attended the Fuzz at Mezz event, and for the most part it was a circuit party with hair. These are not the bears I’m describing in this post.

But am I cute? (Let’s be honest; that’s the important question although it shouldn’t be.) I’m beginning to believe that its not so much body hair and girth that makes the gay men I admire, but it is the refusal of these men to commodify their bodies as products and hawking their wares. Certainly, physical attraction plays a part, and yet I seriously doubt that nearly all gay men are instinctively (outside of social influence) attracted to a hairless body with body fat percentages so low that they normally would be categorized as an eating disorder. Sure that turns me on. But my true siren is joyful in his song like the bunny, the kitty and the bear.

WHY?

Okay, so I probably shouldn’t be so bitchy about this. This used to be the spot where home. (a home furnishing store that went under and screwed quite a few people out of money on furniture orders) was located on castro. I walk by it everyday, so I was curious to know what they would put in the spot. It turns out the owners of injeanious have set up a male intimate apparel store. Why? I mean, they already sold intimate apparel at the other store. Plus, it’s nothing kinky. Couldn’t it at least be kinky? It’s just a bunch of 2xist and Calvin Klein and other uber-gay circuit boy underwear that’s terribly overpriced. Can’t we have something a little more interesting here? Why didn’t they open up an outlet where you could make your own t-shirts (seeing as they seem to specialize in t-shirts)?

The Ten: Number 10

Well, because I am just starting out, I thought a list and explanation of my favorite movies, albums, songs and books might be a good introduction to anyone who happens perchance to come across this blog. I’ll just post one at a time (i.e. the number 10 movie, book, etc. and none else), and hopefully that will alleviate any boredom. And it will let me change my mind coming up to the end. That said these aren’t in any particular order.

Movie 10
Me, You, and Everyone We Know
This movie is relatively recent, and I wonder if I’m just adding it to seem current. However, I truly think that this movie is absolutely brilliant. The film uses a dysfunctional family as the lens though which we view the modern world and technology’s impact on it. In the film, a young boy chats with an older woman (I know, risque) and tells her how he wants to poop in her asshole, and then she would poop that poop back in his asshole ad infinitum. The woman on the other side is really turned on by this. In some ways, this might be saying that the stuff we put into technology (i.e. blogs, recordings, programs) is just crap and not really worthwhile. However, in a deleted scene she also has the child go outside and poop in the garden. That makes me think that she is using poop in a sense as fertilizer and enabling. We are sharing back and forth the same things, but they are common to us, and it might actually fertilize/replenish us.

In another portion of the film, two of the children are making a picture using characters (we’ve all seen them in chain mail), and he says that each of the characters (only 0’s and 1’s in this instance) represents one person, and then the other child, and then everyone they know. Perhaps, the film is suggesting that through technology we have been reduced to 0’s and 1’s that all fit together spatially. So, this might be saying that we are losing individual identity through our technology.

Ultimately, I think the film is trying to say that we can use technology and words to help us bridge gaps, bring us closer together, and while we may not appear that different (0’s and 1’s) our spatial connection is what makes us special and allows us to be creative.

Album 10
Exciter–Depeche Mode
I honestly love every track on this album. I think the textures to the music are more advanced and nuanced, and as much as everyone loves the screaming before, the control and precision of the singing bring this album up above the other DM albums that I love. The lyrics seem to present a more mature and perhaps world-weary group that is dealing with adulthood (The Dead of Night), addiction (I Feel Loved), love (Shine) and separation/attachment (I Am You). Favorite lines: “Forget the pictures on your TV screen, its filled with visions that you keep for your dreams, you can turn me on.” (Shine) “And I’ll, also take the best you’ve got, even though I’m sure it’s not the best for me.” (Goodnight Lovers) “Feel the fever coming, you’re shaking and itching, what you take won’t kill you but careful what you’re given.” (Dream On)

Song 10
Refuse to Fight (Frankie Bones)
This isn’t the most amazing thing ever, but I’m totally fascinated by the rhythms in this song. I’m never able to pinpoint exactly what is going on. Kind of a 2 against three thing maybe from the bass to the electronic whirs. It’s kind of interesting against the background of a Martin Luther King quote.

Book 10
Candide (Voltaire)
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds. Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. We must cultivate our garden. Okay so these were all quotes. I have to say that I just love this book because I’m so sick and tired of people saying “It’s all for the best.” Bullshit! Sometimes life just plain sucks. Learn from it for sure, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. The story is all about these crazy things happening, and at one point they’re like, well, it’s great that we got ransacked and then those people ate her buttocks because they were starving and here we are, because look at where we are now! Oh, and a nice good dosage of personal responsibility as well.

Easter Shenanigans

Well, this has been the strangest Easter of my life. Not that I particularly celebrate Easter, but when I have in the past it was nothing like this.

Living near the Castro, my partner and I went with some friends to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence annual Easter bash. And Easter will never be the same for me.

These were just some random dancing girls

More Random Dancing Girls

They also had a hat contest and the competition was FIERCE.
This one had some nice touches…

And I love the feathers under the hat on this one…

But this one (that won) was just amazing and was made entirely of real flowers…From the guy’s own garden. Who is this queen?

Anyway, hope everyone had a happy day…