Happy Halloween!

I’m pretty sure I need a haircut

My hair is just getting so long. All of the girls at work are encouraging further growth. JR is making many comments that not so indirectly suggest that I should do it as soon as possible.

These pictures above are actually from a brunch that Chad Fox and Kelly so graciously hosted. It was really a great time. Chad was a consummate host, constantly trying to make sure that everyone was having a good time and had seating. Everyone started watching female trouble which I had never seen before. And I still haven’t. Kudos to Chad and Kelly for doing so well. It was also wonderful to see Jeff Skybar.

These pics were taken from a hike that we took with the gay hikers here in san francisco. I prefer to call them the gay outdoor drinkers, but these pesky gay people who actually like to hike keep showing up. Bastards. Afterwards we went to the pumpkin fair. Which was abominable. It was like the street fairs minus the booze and hot men and sleazy gay sex which basically are the only good part of a street fair. After the fair, we went to pick out pumpkins (pictured above) and all of the gay hikers kept surrounding this farmer. They just flocked to him, and they listened with rapt attention about planting seeds and cultivating pumpkins. Yeah right.

July-October

July

October

The above clip from October shows a meeting that JR and I saw on the way home. Mark Welsh, featured in both videos, was the victim of sexual assault and rape here within the castro. I might get a whistle soon, and maybe I will join the Castro Community on Patrol.

And if the buses don’t get you…

“NY Gay Man Comatose Following Apparent Internet Hate Crime
Here in New York, a twenty-nine year old gay man is clinging to life following an apparent hate crime that started on the internet. The victim, Michael Sandy, was chatting online with two men who convinced him to meet them for sex at a Brooklyn parking lot. Police say Sandy, an African-American, was met by four white males who robbed and beat him. The men chased Sandy onto a nearby street where he was hit by a passing car. The men beat him again as he lay on the road. Sandy has suffered extensive brain damage and is on life support.”

From Democracy Now!

Sandy has since passed on. The four perpetrators have been apprehended and charged with hate crimes. Seeing as Sandy has now died, I would expect that they would also include a charge of felony murder or murder in some other capacity.

This has really rattled me all day, and why is no one talking about it?

A quote and all that Foley shit

“Clarissa Vaughan is not the enemy. Clarissa Vaughan is only deluded, neither more nor less than that. She believes that by obeying the rules she can have what men have. She’s bought the ticket. It isn’t her fault. Still, Mary would like to grad Clarissa’s shirtfront and cry out, You honestly believe that if they come to round up the deviants, they won’t stop at your door, don’t you? You really are that foolish.“

-Michael Cunningham

This paragraph keeps coming back to me amongst the Mark Foley scandals. So many of us gay men are out there in extasy over our good luck. But is it? Would everything be as salacious if this were a female page? Are we contributing to a discourse of homophobia? I find it odd how we are so quick to pull out and firmly attach the label “pedophile” and “pervert” when the page was 16 years old. This is indeed the age of consent for many states. This is not to say that I condone what Foley did in the least. It would be terribly egregious if it were a female page aged 30. There is a distinct difference in the power between a page and a government official. Furthermore, this disparity is exacerbated by the difference in age and one would hope, maturity.

Personally, I think there is nothing magical about the number 18. Is every gay men who loves his “barely legal” porn a pedophile as well even though the actors who are in the films are only 18 but may appear much younger? How often have I heard gay men talk about seeing high school football players and other young athletes? Too often to count. And this is not something that is strictly a gay issue. I remember seeing Alicia Silverstone on Letterman when she was only 17 and the catcalls from the audience. Maybe I feel like I can be candid because I personally have no interest in younger guys physically or emotionally. I don’t personally believe that we can expect such a simple phenomenon of sexual desire shifting as a person grows older. Do you think 60 year old gay men get hardons watching porn that contains guys in their 20’s?

Granted there are people who find very young people sexually stimulating as well. That is simply the way those people feel. Acting out on that is extremely heinous because of the inability of the other party to truly consent to the act. However, does 18 make a magic turning point? In some states laws change according to how old the other party is. Does a 40-year-old have that much more coercive power than a 24-year-old? With whom would you rather have slept at age 16?

A great deal of the backlash (in my opinion) doesn’t so much have to do with Foley’s abuse of power, or the difference in age: the disdain is primarily about homophobia. Do you really think that the republicans think more about the age of this page or the fact that he was male?

Clearly, I don’t support pedophilia, but I think we toss around our terms too lightly. What Foley did was inexcusable, but I don’t think we should all be cheering too loudly.

Beyond that, the Military Commissions Act of 2006 makes it possible for you (yes, even you as an American citizen) to be held for no reason if someone in the executive branch deems you an unlawful enemy combatant. I just wonder, where is the outrage in the world? How can everyone else be so silent about our condoning of torture and pardoning of our officials for acts that have already occurred dating back until 2001?

Indeed, the buses may be coming. And do we really think they won’t stop at our doors?

Dear younger brother,

First of all, [brother], I would like to sincerely thank you for inviting me to your upcoming wedding. I realize that it’s not always the easiest thing as a faithful mormon to have the presence of someone who could be considered quite controversial at your events. I’d like to add here a Dear Abby article.

“DEAR ABBY: I am being married this summer to my fiancee of five years, “Beth.” I had always assumed that my brother, “Mike,” who is also my best friend, would be my best man. Mike is gay.

When I asked him, I was stunned at his response. Mike said he loves me and Beth, but refuses to be part of a ceremony celebrating something for which he is discriminated against emotionally, financially and socially. He refuses even to attend.

Now that I have been forced to confront this issue, I realize my brother is right. Beth thinks he should “get over it,” and he needs to accept that it’s just “the way things are in the world.”

As hurt as I am, I can’t hold against my brother his refusal to participate in what he refers to as a “reminder that he is considered a second-class citizen without the same civil rights” as I have.

How can I handle this without turning it into something that could overshadow what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life? — DISAPPOINTED IN WESTLAKE, OHIO

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: By respecting your brother’s decision, and reminding your bride-to-be that accepting the status quo is not always the best thing to do. Women were once considered chattel, and slavery was regarded as sanctioned in the Bible. However, western society grew to recognize that neither was just. Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands and Spain have recognized gay marriage, and one day, perhaps, our country will, too.”

If you doubt the sort of societal prejudice or think that this article makes it seem as if this is the norm, many newspapers actually refused to print this advice column in its entirety.

While I am very grateful and recognize your generosity in extending an invite to both JR and me, I don’t feel comfortable attending the open house. This is not because I think that you and others would not be welcoming, but it has much to do with the underlying circumstances. I’m well aware that the mormon church–the organization that will be performing the ceremony–does not support my rights to marry whom I would choose, and in fact actively spends money and time and vigorously lobbies against that possibility. As Gordon B. Hinkley says, “this is not a question of civil rights, this is a question of morality.” Dallin H. Oaks spoke while I was attending BYU saying that all politics is indeed morality, which effectively leaves little space for civil rights within the paradigm. In all this is not surprising as the mormon church has by no means been on the forefront of civil liberties of which examples I’m sure you are certainly aware.

Furthermore, I understand that all of my family believes that this is correct. I have difficulty countenancing the support of celebration that finds me unworthy and indeed dangerous to its exercise (in fact, Sheri Dew compared civil rights activists and their efforts to the rise of Hitler). I am aware that the mormon church and by extension my family which believes its teachings believes that I am merely “addicted” to JR, and that my love is less than that of heterosexuals by virtue of its being imperfect and ungodly.

Be that as it may, even if you all as my family were in support of gay marriage, I would echo the article above from Dear Abby.

This by no means should lead you to believe that I do not have the sincerest wishes for your happiness. I am very grateful for your invitations, and I would hope that you would not see my not coming as an effort to cause discord, but as something that I cannot in good conscience do. I hope that you don’t take offense to this, or that you feel that I’m trying to distance myself from you or the rest of the family. That is not my intention at all. I do not wish to invite comparisons to if I were to have some sort of ceremony with JR at a future date. In fact, I think it would be quite different. Such a ceremony would not be countenancing, indeed hoping to uphold, a continued state of discrimination under the law. And while I may not feel I can attend your events, I have no intention to legally bar you from having the opportunity to be able to do so.

Please be aware of my sincerest wishes of my love and hopes for your greatest happiness.

My blog isn’t any fun anymore!

Has my blog always been this serious? When I was on Dan’s Dannation cast, Dan said that my blog made him think and that it was philosophical. I think this is becoming a problem. I’m really not all seriousness.

On a happy note, I had a new SF first! First I had a happy accident. While I was sitting in my critical race seminar next to the professor, I proceeded to graciously spill my entire coffee on myself. The professor was even so kind as to hand me a couple of pieces of paper to wipe up the spill. Aw, the dear! Not feeling like showing up to work with a large brown stain, I decided that I needed to go home and change.

On the ride home everything seemed normal. Then I hear a loud sqwacking sound, and I see some white flashing. That’s right! A dear little sweet Chinese woman had a live Chicken that had escaped out of its plastic grocery bag. An older gentlemen played commedian suggesting that she “choke the chicken!” I was somewhat horrified. After a couple minutes of struggle and several stops, she eventually got the chicken back in the grocery sack, and tied it shut. Et voila! The chicken stopped to squirm.

So who feels like chicken tonight?!

Bad Moon Rising

Bad things happened this weekend. And I was having such a good one. Last night at around 3 am, JR and I awoke to the sound of shattering glass. Our little kitten had got caught in a plastic bag and was running around like crazy. He had made Boo (the other cat) so wild that he jumped into the window pane and shattered it (although this does lend credibility to the story that I wasn’t really that drunk when the other window smashed, and they are actually quite weak, this is of little consolation). The poor cat had cuts on one of his paws and was walking around leaving a small trail of blood.

In other news, some bloggers got together in SF and Chad Fox was reported to have a broken nose. Luckily this is not the case, but I’m sad to hear that his precious visage was endangered.

I’ve also been thinking about something I saw on the university channel the other day. This guy was talking about our responsibility as humans in this modern world. He talked about a particular principle called the Singer principle. If you have a very nice suit (saville row, hand-made, etc.) and you are walking by a shallow muddy pond, and you see a small child drowning, what do you do? Of course you save the child. Singer is suggesting that this is precisely what is happening all across the world. Therefore, we all need to sell what we can until we can just barely live because our small amounts can literally save lives in other countries. The speaker then did something really interesting in deconstructing the analogy. If you really need to save as many lives as possible, you can’t save the child in the pond. You can save more lives if you don’t ruin the suit and sell it and use the proceeds to save more lives. He went on to talk about how we all don’t necessarily have principles because they are so difficult to articulate without exception, but we very quickly can have value judgments. I would save the child. And I’m not going into poverty for 3rd world children. Does this make me a bad person? Perhaps. What do you all think? And what do you all think about categorical principles? I personally hate Kant’s categorical imperative because if you assume everyone were to act as you did, you are placing your values on those actions, and assuming that everyone has the same values–basically elevating yourself to the position of deciding what is good and bad for the universe (maybe I’m just bitter with Kant for his harsh words on non-procreative sex). Thoughts?